The Aneurysm, Part IV

[photo by Mia McCullough]

Who sees inside from outside?
Who finds hundreds of mysteries
even where minds are deranged?

See through his eyes what he sees.
Who then is looking out from his eyes?

— Rumi, Essential Rumi, tr. Coleman Barks, p. 94



This is all a lot of news to take in.

Were I on the internet I would feed my obsession that way. The internet is awesomely fertile ground for fueling obsessions, whether they be well-intentioned or not. Instead I’ve gotten the facts by speaking to live people and have put phone calls out to both Portia and Graham, two people I’ve wanted to be in contact with, because they both worked with E. and me.

In trying to reach Portia, Rob picked up the phone — early morning basketball player, master birder, out in the woods in Western Washington — and I heard his voice. A long lost voice to me yet it only feels like a month since I spoke to him.

I heard his voice, and could picture the white beard, the ever-apologetic look on his face. Could picture him in the tall pines on his land, and in his woodlot.

Haven’t heard back yet from either Portia or Graham but expect I will in the next couple of days.

Carding Brushes vs. Mass Delusion

[photos of Newfoundland hat & mittens, showing construction; property of my mother-in-law]
Jan 2, 2009 continued

"Each night, without knowing it, you return to the unmanifested Source of all life when you enter the the stage of deep, dreamless sleep, and then reemerge again in the morning, replenished." — Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth

Stopped by Portland Fiber Gallery to get carding brushes (finally!) and a little roving for making Newfoundland Mittens, and got a handmade bear for Baxie's birthday. Finally connected witht his fabulously vibrant palce in Portland.

Of course, visa card transaction used the internet. do I have to give credit/debit cards this year? That might solve the problem mentioned on previous page (spending too much money).

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Other inspirations:
— Phil Haskell who campaigned last fall for Maine House of Representatives door-to-door in person.


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A sense of interdependence is vital to world peace. Are we achieving that through the internet? I don't know.

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Mass delusion: that being continually hooked up digitally is vital and necessary. I'm not talking about people who depend on the internet for their livelihoods or for keeping in touch or for any number of other useful reasons. I'm talking about the way we use each other to continually reaffirm this delusion that constant contact with the internet is vital to life.

An obsessive relationship with the internet is perchance a case of mass delusion: You are constantly online sending me messages, so I must be or I might miss something. What are we really missing? Everything. Life is right now. And we are missing this.

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I was dissatisfied with the constant communication with people who weren't really there. Jeff & I independently concluded that this was what some people used to refer to as insanity.