No e-mail? I'll just yell out the front door.

Spring, and everything outside is growing,
even the tall cypress tree.
We must not leave this place.
Around the lip of the cup we share, these words,
My life is not mine.

— Rumi, Essential Rumi, tr. Coleman Barks, p. 41


March 9, 2009

Well, being off the internet is making communications with our Monday homeschooling coop a living hell.

Fortunately, no one has voted me off the island yet, but it is causing difficulties in staying in touch with everyone. While we are together we are coordinating activities, setting up snack, cleaning up snack, assisting with conflict, pasting up the newspaper, etc.

It is difficult to finish a conversation. So we would finish conversations by email. But then I went and got off the internet. This is making communications difficult.

OK, well I guess M. has never been a big e-mailer. We would always have to call her last year. In particular, A. seems stressed — whether this is caused in part or in full by more challenging coop communications, I don’t know. I like to think everything’s about me, anyway.

I’m officially a flaky homeschooler.

The good news: we finally laid out the first issue of The Blue Eagle newspaper together today at coop. C. was super-grumpy and needed to play alone, but the rest of the older kids and I did that.

"Now. That's the key. Now, now, now."
— Pema Chodron, The Wisdom of No Escape, p. 30





Still Feb 28, 2009

Lots of mags in the airport with Barack Obama on the cover. And one with with Mrs. Obama (Vogue). In one shop a big cardboard cutout of President Obama. There was a strong sense of wanting to be more media-connected so as to hear more of his speeches, see more of the coverage of the economy.

Youtube is a great invention — low-res repeats of whatever it is you’re looking for. Kind of like what talking on the phone is becoming — you can access the exact person you want by phone anytime, no waiting, but it’s cell to cell and their voice is all grainy, or they break up from lack of reception, or there’s that weird digital lag that makes the pauses longer and makes you think they might be mad at you, or that you just said something that makes absolutely no sense.

It’s great! But it sucks. All at the same time.
*
It’s hard being away from the NYT. I’m going to have a lot to catch up on.

Martin Luther King, Jr., Day

"There's hidden sweetness in the stomach's emptiness."
— Rumi

January 19, 2009 · Monday
MLK Jr. Day

This day has special significance this year given what’s happening tomorrow. For the first time I get a little wistful that I’m not in Washington. Then I remember — the crowds.

Wake up somewhat grieving email. I imagine people all over Facebook plastering themselves with excitement.

I get over this quickly when our homeschool family coop happens, at our house again, with happy kiddos playing all over the piles of snow the plow left behind.

And then we get to work on the newspaper I’m helping them put together, The Blue Eagle. The kids all made badges last week out of watercolor paper and ribbon, and everyone showed up with theirs this week, and their notebooks.

Some had hand-written news stories about grackles stealing fruit or giant icicles; one had compelling photos of fishing and cub scouts on which he declined to comment. They all decorated a letter to go in the name of the paper on the first page.

Glitches · digital coma

[kids' room, the "before" picture]

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." — Gandhi

Still January 12

Homeschooling coop: we are finally moving forward with an idea the kids had last year — which was to start a kids' newspaper.

Small, to start. Today we came up with a name (The Blue Eagle Newspaper), a first issue pub date (mid-February) and some general assignments / roles, and we made press badges (we had some of Jeff’s professional ones for them to look at).

Not having e-mail makes the assimilation process very interesting. We could have them e-mail stories and photos to Jeff; I could come up with the template and have kids and parents type in their own stories right onto my computer, they could bring them hard-copy and I could type them in….this is one of those tasks that would be in many ways be made easier by email. Or would it?

Sometimes I feel I’ve done a lot of turning my back on communities and people I’m leaving behind, usually by moving. Or is this non-attachment, a healthy letting go, a natural moving on? Moments in the last two weeks I’ve wondered if I’m doing it again—and if I am, why does it feel so freaking good? Like shedding 20 layers of dead skin all at once? So rejuvenating.

There is a deep desire in me at moments to hop online and find out what’s going on with the weather, with the war in Gaza. Definitely I experience and hold more anxiety than I ever realized, which was alleviated (momentarily) a lot of times by sitting down at the computer. The Dead Zone. The Digital Coma. I wonder what the effect is on my children all this time. How it has been to be partially ignored during those online spots.

It’s hard to say what the long-term ramifications of this experiment will be. In all likelihood it will mean much to me, something to those close by, and little or nothing to the world at large. But we can only change ourselves!

And in this case it is changing just about everything! I’m trying to think of what this hasn’t changed for me thus far…….